Hold on to that feeling.

A month ago, I was nervous about coming to Edinburgh: I was having such a good time in London. But now,

I AM HAVING SO MUCH FRINGE FUN

that I'm sad that tomorrow is the last day of Fringe (for those of us working at the wonderful Bedlam Theatre). I know, I know, some people are exhausted - and believe you me, I have been - and hate the Fringe, want their normal lives back etc etc. But, lucky me, I have had a fairly straight forward, simple job to do, and one that I have enjoyed immensely.

Bedlam is such a fantastic place to work, the building looks great this year, people come back again and again for the kind of shows on there and for the great value food and drink, and most of all for the cheerful, laid back atmosphere. This may sound like a shameless (fruitless, at this stage) plug, but it's true. It's why I love Bedlam, and am so proud to work there.

I have also been managed and working with some truly awesome people. Hard working, dedicated people, without whom the above paragraph might well read very differently. How thrilling to be part of a team like that! We should all be so lucky every day of our working lives to feel that way.

Sticking with the topic of lovely people, of course I needn't have worried about returning to the 'burgh. My diary for the last three weeks reads again and again of all the new people I've met, and all the friends I've made, or re-made, of the people I sort of knew of, but didn't really know, and now do. Exciting. With these both old and brand spanking new chums I've been to some great parties, enjoyed many a late night drink and been to see some awesome (and some awful) shows. I've played with my old band at a couple of great gigs and had a couple of delicious days cooking in The Palace (my sweet-as flat) with Helen. And of course, I've been reminded constantly that Edinburgh is as beautiful as my beloved London.

But as Fringe is about to come to an end, I'm nervous again (have I ever been a fan of change? I don't even like it in monetary form). I really should know by now that more exciting things are undoubtedly around the corner, but once again I'm having fun and don't want it to stop. I am still terribly excited to be going to New York and Montreal to see old friends and a new place, as always, but there is a slight sense of dread associated with my return - FOURTH YEAR!

In just a couple of weeks (at least it's still that long), I will be in my final year of university. I'll have to, like, actually do some work. Write a dissertation. Decide and apply for jobs, think about where I want to live, what I want to *do* to make my life worthwhile (at least in my eyes). I always approach milestones with trepidation. At the end of my school career I was worried that I didn't know what the future held; up to 18 I knew exactly where I would be and what I would be doing. Then I had uni, but soon I will need something else. I try, I try, but I do like structure (preferably in Excel form).

Still, in the mean time, I can comfort myself with two things: firstly that useful mantra, live each day as if it were your last. I shall continue to enjoy this time, grateful for my happiness and to have been fortunate enough to have this experience. Secondly, my favourite game: who will I know this time next year who I don't know now? If the past has taught me anything, it's that I will meet lots of lovely people and do some super cool things and, I think we can all be sure, have planned my future.

Perhaps I'll even block out some time for spontaneity.


A x


PS sorry if this post has made anyone a little nauseous. Sick bags are located in the seat pocket in front of you.